March 4, 2013

what i'm listening to: worn.

Oh goodness. This post is about to get heartfelt, heavy and a little teary--from my standpoint at least. So if you're no into that today, no worries. I'll be back tomorrow with a lighter post (in words, at least!). Anyway, here goes nothing, friends.

During my Sunday night prayer and journaling time, I found myself literally breaking down in tears. Large salty drops falling from my eyes because I was, well, sad. And tired. And weak.

I was having one of those bad singleton days. And I was tired of feeling that way, tired of writing about it here on my blog. Tired of waiting and trying to find happiness in my singleton status. And while I know that His plans for me only bring goodness, my patience and perseverance were running thin.

And through those desperate teary eyes of mine, I somehow got this song stuck in my head. More specifically, the line "let me see redemption win" played through my mind over and over as I searched for the song and lyrics on Youtube. I had heard that song before on the radio, but never really took the lyrics to heart. And when I discovered the song again and listened to it whole-heartedly, tears streamed down my face once again.

Tears of relief. Tears of happiness that Jesus was telling me that He was and is right beside me. I found myself raising my hands in the darkness of my room as the music played through my earbuds. It was my own personal worship time that reminded me that Jesus is my redeemer, my deliverer, my rescuer, and my salvation. And He provides me with the rest, hope, perseverance, and patience that I need. 

And even if I'm worn and weary, He never gives up on me.

And for that, I cannot thank Him enough.



I'm tired, I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world

And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Because I'm worn

I know I need to lift eyes up
But I'm too weak, life just won't let up

And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn

Because I'm worn, my prayers are running thin
I'm worn, even before the day begins
I'm worn, I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn, so heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes, all that's dead inside will be reborn

Though I'm worn
Yeah, I'm worn

12 comments

  1. Beautiful! And girl, my story is similar, and God totally provided when the timing was right:) Hang on and you will NOT be sorry you did!!! love Katie

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    1. Thanks, girl! Seriously, it means so much that people not only read the words I type but take the time to encourage me as well. Patience and perseverance are definitely turning into my new words for the year. I'm so glad that you can relate to me and that I can use your love story as encouragement and proff that God's timing is right and perfect.

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  2. It really is worth the wait. Try to hang on to that. The worst thing in the world is to be married to the wrong person and have no hope of it ever changing. When you're single you constantly get to hold on to the hope that around the next corner it will change. And God is so faithful to love our souls far far better than any guy will. Really. I've lived all this. I wrote this a couple months ago. Maybe it will encourage you. Maybe not. but here it is

    http://www.heyjudedylan.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-lover-of-my-soul.html

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    1. Even though it's hard for me to live out, waiting is definitely important and love is definitely worth the wait. Thank for you for reminding me that it is better to wait for the right person than the just jump into any relationship I can find. And I've never really thought of my lifestage as a time for hope, but it really is, isn't it? Thank you for your wisdom, encouragement, and for sharing your story. I'm going to read it asap! :)

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  3. Hanging in there with you, dearie!! And Kiki, THANK YOU for such honesty - I've said it before, but I'll say it again not for the last time...it encourages me SO much to read your words and know I'm not the only one! Wow, but isn't the encouragement of the two lady's comments above SO encouraging? I'm so thankful for that. Hugs to you, Kiki...and you know what I'm thinking?? How much I'd LOVE to meet you, pray with you, and just talk about where we're at in life and encourage each other! And I'm sure some photo shoots would also be in order. :) Maybe sometime we can! We're not THAT far from each other. :)

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    1. I love that I have you to hang in there with! And thank you for telling me that I'm encouraging you with my honesty. Just last night I was have second thoughts on hitting publish on this post so I'm glad I did!

      And yes, Ashley and Katie are most definitely full of wisdom and encouragement. I am sooooo grateful for my readers (that's you, friend!).

      Um girl, I would love to do that someday! I feel like we have SO much in common and we would share a ton of laughs, prayers, and hugs. And photos. A photoshoot would definitely be in order. I'll have to work on my portraits before then! :)

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  4. Oh and I have to say...that song is now my new favorite and it's playing on repeat! Thank you for pointing out songs like this!!

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    1. And I'm glad you like that song! I've been listening to it A LOT these past few days. :)

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  5. Sweet girl, I know the pain you're going through right now. Someday you will look back, breath a sigh of relief, and think "I'm so glad I pushed through it. I'm so glad I turned to Jesus". Well, I didn't turn to Jesus back in my days before I was a Christian or met Matt, but this applies to you for sure! When God's perfectly planned match for you comes along, you will be overjoyed and it will be such a special time for you because of this wait. I've been seeing lots of posts about singleness lately, and I'm feeling so inspired to do a little post about it because of you! So there is even more good coming out of you sharing your heart than you think :)

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    1. Oh girl, thank you for your encouragement. Pushing through it is SO SO hard even though I know it's what's good for me right now. I am so blessed to have you to remind me of God's amazing plans for me. And one thing I'm grateful for these hard times is the fact that turning to Jesus has brought me so much more comfort than I could ever imagine. Let alone the fact that I have grown so much closer to Him, too!

      And I would love to read your post. Thanks for telling me that I inspired you--I never would have thought that was possible from a sad little post like this one.

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  6. Girl!!! You are so lovely. I'll be honest, I lack the patience I know God wants me to have. I know waiting isn't easy. It isn't fun either, but it will be worth it. Just know everything works out for those who love Him. He's always thinking of you :)

    -L

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    1. Oh, Laurie. Thank you, thank you for those encouraging words. Patience with God is proving to be much harder than I ever expected. And here I thought I had patience (I guess I only really have it with the kids I teach!). Anyway, thank you for saying that waiting isn't easy. It most definitely isn't, even if the end is. :)

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